Confidence, Therapy, Hypnotherapy, CBT, Counselling
Confidence is a very personal thing. Sometimes a person has issues with specific areas of life where they feel a lack of confidence, sometimes it is more general.
What causes a lack of confidence
There is no one answer. Personality traits may indicate a person being introverted or extroverted, however the traditional image of the introvert being shy and socially inept is rather simplified. Sometimes people can be quiet and mindful, and not want to be extroverted. Often problems occur when the introvert wants to be an extrovert because they feel social pressure to conform to this ideal.
In other cases a lack of social interaction during development, or perhaps negative experiences with relationships or trauma, or long term illness might interrupt the experiential development in self confidence in skills, ability to cope or social skills levels.
We can therefore theorize that there are potentially personality core reasons for a certain trait or tendency, and then learnt experiences, both of which combine to create the experience of confidence of the individual.
Can you improve confidence with counselling, CBT and hypnotherapy methods?
There is a problem here. If done wrongly and in-authentically the therapy process may try to “make” the person feel confident in conflict with their core nature. This might mean a person having ultra positive hypnotherapy, or very pushy CBT which pushes them to experience “acting” very confident and extroverted, when this might actually be in contrast to their core introverted nature. Although is is a useful skill for an introvert to “turn on the charm” occasionally, trying to live the life of an extrovert constantly is inauthentic and therefore in denial of their core and real nature.
What can be done ethically and appropriately is to work with the person to feel confident whether quiet or outgoing, to be able to “turn on the charm” when needed, and to feel more at ease with themselves.
Is being confident behavioural or emotional?
If you talk to a CBT practitioner or behaviorist you might get the answer that confidence is how you behave. However a psychoanalyst or eastern psychologist might give you the other answer, that it is a feeling.
Briefly the behavioural theory is that confidence is shown as a behavioural trait, it is how we act in a public situation for example. Are we outgoing, bouncy, out spoken, social etc. The converse view is that confidence is an “inner feeling”, and not a behaviour. Therefore we can feel “quietly confident”, and be introverted or neutral in the social setting, not feel the need to be loud or outgoing, but still feel perfectly balanced inside.
What kind of philosophy does Stuart apply with hypnotherapy, CBT, counselling and psychoanalysis?
I (Stuart) do not feel comfortable with encouraging in-authenticity. Therefore I will happily help quiet people to learn how to “turn on the charm”, make presentations or perform confidently or play sports better, however I also work with them to ensure that they are authentic overall. If they are extroverted naturally but held back by trauma for example, I will help them to become their own natural extrovert. However if they are naturally quiet, I will help them to feel happier and more confident within. It creates real potential stress to try to constantly wear a persona that is not your own, and this is not therapeutic in my view.
It should be mentioned that personality traits are here referred to in a dimensional sense, not a categorizing sense as such. Jung theorised that people were more introverted or extroverted on a dimension, a sliding scale if you like, not entirely one or the other, pigeon holed in any way. Some “trait theorists”, a very cognitive psychology type discipline, have used psychometric testing to try to define people and categorize them. That view is not shared within Scotlandtherapy, where all individuals are seen as unique, different and changeable over time.
Where can I get hypnotherapy, psychoanalysis, CBT and counselling for confidence issues, and from whom?
Stuart holds clinic in Edinburgh, Falkirk and Glasgow, Scotland. He trained from 1993-1996 in psychoanalysis, stress counselling and clinical hypnotherapy, being assessed on over 200 cases (over 1,000 client hours) before gaining a diploma in analysis, stress counselling and hypnotherapy and an associated NVQ level 4 in Training and Development (providing external assessment).(externally NVQ accredited and assessed diploma course and CNHC accreditation route via SSM). Since then he has trained in a range of therapies including different counselling and psychotherapy models, CBT, NLP, life coaching and eastern psychology. He has also complete a MSc Psychology. He has also completed assessment in counselling, psychotherapy and hypnotherapy with the NACHP.
Stuart usually uses a combination of counselling and psychoanalysis to address fact finding and self awareness and to address any underlying issues, and hypnotherapy and CBT as a change method to teach and assist new perceptions and behaviours.
Key words: Confidence therapy, psychotherapy, psychoanalysis, hypnotherapy, CBT, life coaching, NLP, counselling, self esteem, self image, Edinburgh, Glasgow, Falkirk.